About the feelings of women who want to be loved

 About the feelings of women who want to be loved

From a spiritual perspective, there is a tendency for women to desire to be loved.

From a man’s point of view, women who strongly express this desire to be loved may sometimes be seen as “heavy” or emotionally demanding. Because of this, even women who feel this way may choose not to voice it openly.

Many shōjo (girls’) manga are created with this underlying desire to be loved at their core, reflecting the honest, unspoken feelings that many women hold.

When it comes to the basic difference between male and female psychology, men generally have a stronger tendency to want to notice or be aware of someone rather than want to be noticed, whereas women tend to feel the opposite — they more strongly desire to be noticed rather than to notice. Ideally, these opposing emotional tendencies naturally draw each other together like the poles of a magnet, making it easier for men and women to form bonds.

Men, at their core, often direct their awareness toward tangible, visible aspects of life — their hobbies, work, and the women they are interested in — with a focus on the external, physical world.

Women, on the other hand, are often more inclined than men to focus on increasing their own value in order to be noticed, and their awareness is drawn more strongly to their own inner feelings and state of being in pursuit of being acknowledged.

When it comes to matters of the heart and love, there is often a tendency for such topics to be directed toward women, making them easier for women to understand and relate to.

In many manga aimed at men, the female heroine is often portrayed as being happy when she is noticed by the male protagonist. Because of this, many men mistakenly believe that women, like men, have a strong desire to be the one who notices rather than the one who is noticed.

As a result, men who consciously value women in the same way that women value men in shōjo manga are less common, and this makes it harder for women’s hearts to be fulfilled. In such circumstances, women who desire to be loved are more likely to feel emotionally unsatisfied.

When women dress up, there is often an underlying, subconscious wish to increase their own value so they will be noticed as women. In such moments, this desire to be loved may be partially fulfilled, and their hearts may feel at least a little more satisfied.

Men, however, have many objects of attention in the world besides women. Because of this, a woman who expects a man to focus on her and her alone may, from his perspective, seem “too heavy” or emotionally demanding.

I have spoken many times on this blog about the growth of the soul. Just as intellectual growth is made up of individual moments of realization, the growth of the heart — spiritual maturity — is also made up of individual awakenings from the heart.

When one’s spiritual maturity (reikaku) increases, one’s spiritual presence grows, along with the ability to fulfill the hearts of others. The more awakenings one has, the broader one’s perspective becomes. This is not a difficult concept — it is simply the process of becoming an adult in a spiritual sense.

Conversely, when spiritual maturity is low, one’s presence is weak, and the desire to have one’s own heart fulfilled takes precedence over fulfilling others. With fewer awakenings of the heart, one’s perspective also tends to narrow. Again, this is not a difficult idea — it is essentially the state of being a child in a spiritual sense.

Men, in general, tend to have less awareness of matters of the heart. Because their awakenings from the heart are fewer, they are more likely to show signs of lower spiritual maturity.

Ideally, women — through their individual awakenings of the heart — would naturally increase their spiritual maturity and become, in a spiritual sense, more mature than men.

However, in Japan’s education system, there is a strong emphasis on valuing intellectual awakenings, even for women. This creates a tendency for women with lower spiritual maturity to appear as well.

At present, many high school girls in Japan are strongly drawn to Korean idols. Korean idols tend to portray male figures similar to those found in shōjo manga.

While not an absolute rule, Japanese male idols often seem more focused on the idea of “making others happy by showing off how cool I am,” which does not always resonate with a woman’s heart.

It is only natural, then, that women who desire to be loved would be drawn toward Korean idols, whose manner and image align more closely with the emotional fulfillment these women seek.