What causes depression in marriage hunting? More common in women

 What causes depression in marriage hunting? More common in women

Spiritual Perspective: Causes of Depression During Marriage Hunting, Especially Among Women

From a spiritual perspective, certain tendencies can be observed in women who experience depression during marriage hunting. It is possible that such cases are becoming increasingly common in today’s society.

First, consider the concept of existence and presence. Psychologist Sigmund Freud proposed the pleasure principle, observing that humans naturally seek pleasure in activities such as eating, sleeping, or relieving themselves. In a broad sense, one could say that existence itself is tied to pleasure: feeling happy or fulfilled amplifies one’s sense of presence and generates a strong sense of pleasure.

When someone cannot feel their own presence, it is not simply a matter of perception. The human body and mind constantly influence each other, and a lack of perceived presence can trigger stress as a physiological and psychological warning.

Stress responses place an individual in a state of either attack or escape, both of which require energy and activate the body’s systems. Therefore, when a person cannot experience the satisfaction and pleasure that come from achievement or recognition, their sense of existence diminishes, and stress becomes more likely to manifest.

In short, when a situation fails to provide a sense of fulfillment or achievement, it can lead to a reduction in perceived presence, creating stress and emotional strain.

Spiritual Perspective: How Stress Leads to Depression in Women During Marriage Hunting

In society, there are situations where one cannot attack or escape from the source of stress. In such cases, a natural defense mechanism is triggered to protect the self.

This defensive response tends to manifest as behaviors aimed at shielding oneself from the stressor. For instance, speaking out may cause confrontation with the source of stress, so a loss of vocal energy often appears. Similarly, moving the body could reveal one’s presence, activating an instinct to remain still, which can result in sensations of heaviness or fatigue.

Smaller, more contained postures are more effective at hiding oneself, which is why slouched shoulders or a hunched back are common. External stimuli can agitate the mind and provoke bodily reactions, so the body may instinctively block or reduce responses, resulting in slower or muted reactions to what is said.

This mechanism explains how depression can arise from stress, not only in the context of marriage hunting but in life generally.

In marriage hunting, for example, some women set their expectations for a partner’s annual income at over 5 million yen. Since the average income falls below this level, they may struggle to find a suitable partner, which increases the likelihood of experiencing depression.

From a psychological perspective, men and women differ fundamentally. Men tend to have a stronger desire to be aware of others rather than be aware of themselves, whereas women tend to want to be noticed or valued. Ideally, these opposing tendencies attract one another like magnets, bringing different sexes together.

Men generally focus their attention on their hobbies, work, and tangible realities, while women naturally focus on enhancing their own value in order to be recognized. This heightened awareness of their own heart and presence can lead women to be particularly sensitive in romantic contexts.

Women engaged in marriage hunting often put significant effort into enhancing their appearance and personal value. Spiritually, they desire recognition from men they perceive as having higher value than themselves—like a prince straight out of a shoujo manga. In reality, men fitting this ideal are extremely rare, especially in Japan.

Consequently, marriage hunting places women in situations full of stressors: high expectations, unfulfilled desires, and societal pressures. These factors contribute significantly to the potential for depression. Some women may even pursue relationships that fail to satisfy their hearts, driven by hope or societal expectations, further intensifying emotional strain.