Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law! What is the solution to the crisis of divorce caused by being caught in the middle?

 Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law! What is the solution to the crisis of divorce caused by being caught in the middle?

Spiritual Perspective on Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Conflicts: Solutions to the Risk of Divorce

From a spiritual perspective, while there is no absolute answer, solutions do exist.

As a man, I can say that for most men who live ordinary lives, it is often difficult to understand why mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts arise.

However, from a spiritual viewpoint, there are patterns that are common to everyone in such situations.

First, consider the basic differences between male and female psychology:

• Men tend to have a stronger inclination to consciously act toward others rather than to be consciously acted upon.

• Women tend to have a stronger inclination to be consciously acknowledged rather than to act toward others.

This fundamental difference is like a magnetic force, naturally drawing men and women together, making connections between different genders more likely.

Men generally focus their attention on their hobbies, work, and tangible aspects of the external world, and naturally include awareness of women within that focus.

Women, on the other hand, often aim to increase their personal value so that they are recognized and appreciated, and their attention is naturally drawn to how they are perceived.

This dynamic, rooted in the heart and in relationships, can help explain the origins of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts.

Most conflicts of this kind stem from a struggle over perceived value as a woman, which men without this recognition may fail to understand.

As a result, the husband can easily find himself caught in the middle, and the daughter-in-law’s dissatisfaction may manifest as threats of divorce.

By the way, it might be better to also discuss this topic.

The psychologist Freud proposed the pleasure principle, stating that humans naturally seek pleasure in everything they do—whether eating, sleeping, or relieving themselves. In other words, humans are creatures who inherently pursue pleasure.

To put it extremely, a sense of existence = pleasure. When one feels happiness, one can simultaneously experience a strong sense of existence and a strong sense of pleasure.

Not feeling a sense of existence is not merely the absence of that feeling. The human body and mind constantly influence each other, and this can easily generate stress as a response to perceived threats to life.

Stress reactions place a person in a state of choosing either attack or escape against the source of stress. Both choices require energy, and stress can therefore stimulate energy generation in the body and mind.

The relationship between a mother and her son is inseparable. This makes dissatisfaction more likely to appear in a wife, who is, after all, an outsider. Thus, the concept of divorce may easily enter her mind.

As I have often discussed on this blog, the growth of the soul is similar to the growth of knowledge: each individual insight contributes to overall development. Similarly, the growth of the heart, or the growth of spiritual character, is built from each awareness arising from the heart.

If one’s spiritual character increases, one gains greater existential strength in a psychological sense, higher creativity to satisfy others’ hearts, and a broader perspective in seeing things—thanks to the many insights gained. This is not a difficult concept; it is simply about maturing spiritually.

On the other hand, a low spiritual character means weaker existential strength, a tendency to prioritize satisfying one’s own heart over others’, and a narrower perspective in viewing things. This is not a difficult concept either; it simply represents spiritual childhood.

If all parties involved in a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law conflict have low spiritual character, prioritizing their own satisfaction over others’, then naturally, the problem cannot be resolved.

Similarly, if all parties have a narrow perspective, solutions will remain invisible.

Among women, some find satisfaction in pointing out others’ shortcomings, which relatively enhances their own sense of value. This tendency is not limited to mother-in-law/daughter-in-law conflicts; it can also appear in relationships among women more broadly.

First and foremost, it is crucial for the husband to understand this female psychology. If both parties can recognize and appreciate each other’s positive qualities, a path toward resolution naturally emerges. Ultimately, this is a simple matter, not a complicated one.