What are the characteristics of people who are tired of raising children?
What are the characteristics of people who are tired of raising children?
The Characteristics of People Who Have Grown Tired of Parenting – From a Spiritual Perspective
From a spiritual point of view, there are indeed people who fit the description of “tired of parenting.” Although this may not be a pleasant topic, those who feel this way often share similar emotions with people who simply want to be freed from the responsibilities of raising children.
First, let us consider a person’s sense of presence. The psychologist Sigmund Freud proposed the pleasure principle, which states that human beings are creatures who seek pleasure—whether eating, sleeping, or even attending to bodily functions, there is always at least some degree of pleasure involved.
In extreme terms, we might even say presence = pleasure. When we feel happiness, it is not far-fetched to think that we also experience a strong sense of presence and a strong sense of pleasure at the same time.
Lacking a sense of presence is not merely an emotional absence—it also affects the body. The human body and mind are deeply interconnected, constantly influencing one another. When a person’s sense of presence is diminished, it can manifest as stress, and in extreme cases, the body may even register it as a form of life-threatening strain.
The stress response places a person in a state of choosing between fight or flight toward the source of the stress. Both choices require energy, and both can also generate bursts of mental and physical energy.
In Other Words – The Characteristics of Those Who Have Grown Tired of Parenting
From a spiritual perspective, people who grow tired of parenting often share one common feature: they cannot feel pleasure or a sense of presence in their parenting role. This lack of fulfillment, combined with stress, makes them more prone to developing a sense of weariness toward raising children.
Today, with the spread of the internet, there are more and more opportunities for people to find stimulating experiences and a sense of presence outside of parenting. As a result, the relative pleasure found in child-rearing may weaken, leading to increased cases of “parenting fatigue.”
In the past, many fathers—though not all—would be seen playing catch with their children. Such activities allowed them to feel pleasure themselves, which in turn gave them a sense of purpose and fulfillment in parenting.
As I have often discussed in this blog, the growth of the soul is much like the growth of knowledge. Just as intellectual growth comes from individual moments of realization, spiritual growth—reikaku, or the refinement of one’s spirit—comes from individual awakenings of the heart.
When one’s reikaku is high, their spiritual presence increases, their creative capacity to fulfill others’ hearts expands, and their broader perspective allows them to see more of life. This is not a difficult concept—it is simply the spiritual equivalent of becoming an adult.
When reikaku is low, one’s spiritual presence is weak, and they tend to prioritize satisfying their own heart over fulfilling others’. With fewer awakenings of the heart, their perspective remains narrow. Again, this is not a complex idea—it is simply the spiritual equivalent of remaining a child.
A high reikaku naturally encourages an active, engaged mindset, whereas a low reikaku tends to produce passivity.
In parenting, active spiritual strength is essential. Without it, symptoms of “parenting fatigue” will naturally appear.
Today, we increasingly see “children raising children” in the spiritual sense—people who themselves have not matured emotionally taking on the role of parents—which inevitably leads to various difficulties.
In the Showa era, family bonds were stronger, and community ties were richer. Neighbors provided many examples that could serve as helpful references for child-rearing.
Now, however, there are fewer direct role models to learn from, and as people’s perspectives narrow, feelings of wanting to be “freed from parenting” or of becoming “bored with parenting” are more likely to arise.
On the internet, stories about becoming tired of parenting often involve parents who, up until then, had been able to raise their children exactly as they wished—only to find that, as the child’s sense of independence grows, the child no longer acts according to the parent’s will. This shift can become a significant source of stress.
From a spiritual perspective, one might ask: could this be an indication of something deeper? If we view the idea of being “tired of parenting” through an objective lens—as akin to being “tired of the world allowing us to exist”—perhaps we can also begin to see the deeper, essential value of parenting itself.
Comments
Post a Comment