The cause of the divorce lies with the husband!

 The cause of the divorce lies with the husband!

Next, I would like to speak from a spiritual perspective about the idea that the cause of divorce often lies with the husband. This is not based on my own independent research, but spiritually speaking, it appears that in more than half of divorces, the cause can be traced back to the husband.

It is also possible that, compared to the past, the percentage of divorces in which the cause lies with the husband has increased.

Of course, there are also cases in which the cause of divorce lies with the wife, and I will address those as well.

First, let us consider a fundamental difference between male and female psychology. Men tend to have a stronger inclination to “want to do the noticing” rather than “be noticed,” while women tend to have a stronger desire to “be noticed” rather than “do the noticing.” In a natural state, this opposing tendency acts like the pull of a magnet, drawing the two together and making it easier for different genders to form a bond.

Men, by nature, are inclined to focus on their hobbies, work, and the women they choose to notice—placing greater attention on the tangible, visible world.

Women, on the other hand, tend to have a stronger desire than men to increase their own value in order to be noticed, and their attention is often drawn more toward the state of their own hearts in being noticed.

Next, I would like to touch on a matter of the heart, particularly in the context of relationships, and a pattern often observed among women. I believe this is something that, once understood, will make sense to many.

At home, there is always the potential for a husband to consciously acknowledge and engage with his wife. Yet, in reality, many husbands focus their attention almost entirely on their own hobbies.

Quite a number of these husbands are unaware of a fundamental aspect of women’s psychology—the tendency to want to be noticed rather than to do the noticing. When this is ignored, dissatisfaction can easily arise in women.

For example, the Japanese comedian Naoki Tanaka from the duo Cocorico, during his marriage to his former wife, was often seen at home deeply absorbed in his own interests—particularly picture books and encyclopedias about insects and animals. His wife, however, had no interest in these topics and could not relate. When I first saw footage of this, the thought came to me that there was a high chance they might divorce, and indeed, they eventually did.

As I have often mentioned in this blog, the growth of the soul parallels the growth of knowledge—each piece of awareness contributing to mental development. Likewise, spiritual growth, or the elevation of one’s soul level, comes from a series of realizations from the heart.

When one’s spiritual level rises, their spiritual presence also grows, and so does their ability to nurture and fulfill the hearts of others. With more awareness of the heart, one’s perspective naturally broadens. This is not a complicated idea—it is simply about becoming an adult in a spiritual sense.

Conversely, a low spiritual level means a weaker presence, with a tendency to prioritize fulfilling one’s own heart over that of others. With fewer realizations of the heart, one’s perspective tends to be narrower. Again, this is not a difficult concept—it is essentially being a child in a spiritual sense.

Women often have a stronger awareness of matters of the heart, and as a result, they can more easily raise their spiritual level through each realization.

Men, on the other hand, tend to be less conscious of the heart, and thus, their spiritual level may remain low, with fewer realizations coming from within.

Therefore, when the cause of divorce lies with the husband, it can be seen this way: a spiritually strong woman may endure for a time, but if her endurance reaches its limit, the resulting divorce can indeed be considered, in a spiritual sense, to have been caused by the husband.

In today’s society, with a strong emphasis on gender equality and weaker awareness of gender differences, it has become easier for men to overlook women’s psychology. This invites reflection on the possibility that, on a deeper level, the proportion of divorces caused by husbands may be increasing.

Moreover, in Japan especially, there are many who reject spiritual perspectives altogether. Among them, there are certainly men who lack awareness of matters of the heart and cannot fully understand women’s psychology.

Even now, despite the strong emphasis on gender equality, there may still be a latent, unconscious remnant of male chauvinism in some Japanese men. Those who carry this mindset might well be considered potential candidates for divorce.